Oh dear. With such a big-shot team behind it, I was convinced this was going to be the horror for movie of the season. A new Creepshow for people like me who have seen Creepshow too many times to truly be scared anymore (um, and that happened about ten years ago).But, sadly, it's lame. Double-dog-lame. O-rama.
Why? Where do I begin? Do I even care? Um, so three stories are interwoven, with comic-book notations informing us when they are taking place ('earlier', 'later', for instance), and they each twist and curve around to a giant finale featuring Brian Cox getting hammered by a living, breathing Sack Boy from Little Big Planet.
By the time Sack Boy worked his magic, I just didn't care. The three stories are so boring -- they've all been told before, much better than this. With horror short stories and flash fiction such a saturated industry, it's probably impossible to come up with anything truly original, so the idea, I assume, is to make the old new again. I think Bryan Singer and his team tried to do that here with their twisty, comic booky framing, but the stories are so badly written than even the (kinda) newness of the packaging can't hide the shittiness of the product.
I did think Sack Boy's wrap-up was adorable, and would've liked to have seen a whole movie based on the Brian Cox episode. Here it's just throwaway and alsp-dash like the rest of the film. It's not a modern classic as the reviews would have you believe -- it's a boring, too-clever-for its-own-good, rehash of all you've seen before. And, the most tragic thing, it really has no eventual point. I saw something, maybe about taking Halloween back to its roots here, but, again, that was throwaway stuff.
Despite the team behind it, this one just stinks.
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